Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness is a sin, my sin.

Everyday I ask for Forgiveness of my sins and Grace from God especially for my free spirit and my mouth…

But tonight (or last night since I am still up )is different…I almost died last night.

If you know me, really know me, then you know I am not afraid to die. But that does not mean I am ready to die.

In the moment my entire life flashed before my eyes:

Who is going to tell my 8-yr-old son? He is less than 2 miles down the road having a great time celebrating a birthday with his bestie?

Who is going to tell my 11-year old daughter that mommy is dead because we had a slight delay, and I had to drive her separately? Will she blame herself?

Who is going to tell my husband that his wife is dead, and he has 2 children to raise alone?

Who is going to tell my 84-year-old father that he has to bury his only child?

Who is going to tell my bestie’s son, that his mother is dead?

How could this happen?

In an instant….

Just driving down the road with one of my besties…listening to an update on the status of another friend declining on Hospice Care…Bluetooth.

I saw him slowing down….no turn signal…it was dark…lights on…driving the speed limit…watching…

Then I saw it…he was going to turn right in front of me….I remember hearing my bestie gasp…I don’t think she even had time to scream….

I hit my brakes and felt the ABS kick in…I felt every safety feature on my car engage….

“Please no God….if I hit him, I will kill us all”…

I could not have missed him by more than 1/2 inch….

He was turning into his driveway…shaking I backed up and pulled in behind him…

Thinking surely something is wrong….

I found him sitting in his car in his driveway…reading…it was too dark to see if it was phone or paper….

In that instant I knew….he was reading and driving…I stood there staring at him for what seemed like minutes….

I said are you ok…He looked at me as if I were an idiot…

Then I knew…I said do you realize that you turned in front of me and almost killed both of us….

He said I never saw you…

And then my MOUTH…”well I guess not…it is challenging to read and drive at the same time in rush hour traffic and in then dark…”

He came flying out of his car….and thought it was proper to get in my face…and start yelling profanities….

I said “go ahead put your hand s on me”….my Mouth again, “because when you do, it is game, set and match!”

So for all you guys….if you don’t know, then, my daddy can explain it to you…do not get in a ladies face, do not yell profanities at her…and NEVER, EVER under-estimate what might happen, if that lady is an Army brat with years of service to our country as a Navy Doctor…and way too many years in the SCHOOL of Hard Knocks….

And if you live in Winterville, watch Cory Road…. there is a guy who thinks it is okay to read and drive simultaneously…and it appears he is not skilled at either…

My sin of unforgiveness tonight….”God please help me find my way to forgiveness…that man did not care!”

May you find God’s Grace in everyday!

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elmbyrd

Christian, Physician, Photographer, Journalist

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